ANY LIQUIDS, ELECTRONIC DEVICES, CHARGERS? | THE AIRPORT SECURITY PART

Any liquids? Electronic devices? Chargers? It’s just another day at Eindhoven airport and I’m waiting in line for the airport security before boarding the Ryanair flight that is going to take me back home. I just had a cappuccino with my dad at the recently re-opened panoramic terrace, which is totally worth arriving too early for since La Place opened its doors there. I like being early anyways. It helps me to stay sane during the next few hours, when I’ll have to deal with (or rather withstand from dealing with) a combination of certain people in certain situations. And by certain people I mean Dutch people, and by certain situations I mean the security, the boarding, the arrival, and the luggage belt.

Before you get the wrong impression let me put this first:

I love flying. I’ve been flying since I was old enough to bring along my stuffed animal and best friend Kwakwak (aha yes) and let him enjoy the wonders of the above-clouds-level world. I’ve always dreamed of being able to fly, which cannot be a coincidence considering I am named after a bird. I fell in love with the first (and of course best, as would turn out later) commercial pilot whose life path happened to cross mine. And after following him and his career to Gran Canaria, I’ve become a proper frequent flyer commuting back and forth between my new home and my old one.

So here I stand, fueled with caffeine, waiting to pass through security,

which people stubbornly keep calling customs. (Like, you’re flying to where? Rome? Prague? Barcelona? You really think you need customs for that?) It sucks, I know, I’ve been there a million times. You need to get your liquids out. You need to get your electronic devices out. And your chargers. You may even need to show that they actually work. You have to take off your jacket, your belt, your jewelry and watch. Sometimes even your shoes. It’s a warzone, that’s what it is. If I have to go by the whining people around me. I heard Schiphol Airport is going to introduce some kind of scanner that makes this all go run much smoother, but up until then, let us all just, please, let these people do their jobs.

If everyone would just make sure they got their shit together. Like for example, you have your liquids ready in the right fucking plastic zipper bag. And yes, that includes mascaras and nail polishes, because they run right? BECAUSE THEY’RE LIQUIDS. You also finished your bottle of water. Or for Christ sake don’t bring one and just buy one straight after. You have your electronic devices somewhere on top in your suitcase. And you take them out of their cover. Because that’s what you do. And finally, you don’t wear too many accessories. If everyone will just be cooperating instead of complaining about situations that aren’t a big deal if you’re correctly prepared, the whole thing will be over before you know it. You’ll see.

After waiting a dazzilion years in line

behind unprepared and complaining people, I get through in what, two seconds (?), and make my way past duty free to get myself some food. Eindhoven’s duty free is disappointingly small. But instead of the, you’d say, five steps it should take one to cross it, it takes me five minutes. Five everlasting minutes of being unable to pass by people who, by the looks of it, packed their entire household into cramped cabin bagage trolleys. It’s about time I’m getting myself a follow-up coffee.

To be continued.

airport security

KLM Boeing 737 at Athens – Eleftherios Venizelos – International Airport

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